so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
