Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
