shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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