Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
