I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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