I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
