so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
