Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
