you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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