Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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