he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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