fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
