the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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