All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
