Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
