I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
