obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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