when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
