Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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