So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize