Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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