What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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