Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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