Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
