Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
