he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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