btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize