We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
