I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
