we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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