I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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