I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
