why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
