it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
