he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
