Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
