the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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