We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
