If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
