i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
