There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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