Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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