billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
