Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
