i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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