i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
