She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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