first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
