is wine microwaveable?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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