I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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