If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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