I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
