No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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