haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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