Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
