i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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