So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
