If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize