Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
