Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
