If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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