He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
