I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
