so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am naked and annoyed.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
