Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize