did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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