Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
