Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
