dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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