Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
