her vagine was all disorganized.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
