The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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