Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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