what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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